It feels so refreshing to start a new year.
We all like a re-do once in a while.
Some people make New Year’s resolutions.
What I prefer to do, and would like to challenge you to do, is pick one item of which to be mindful.
It won’t change anything on the outside. What it will change is something inside of you, and when it comes down to it, that is really what we desire to change and what we have the capacity to change.
A way to choose what you select is, where does your mind go?
What do you worry about.
You might simply call it thinking. What do you think about? You don’t have to be a big worrier. You don’t have to be obsessed about a topic. But if you do worry, what or who do you worry about?
For example, do you consider what others are thinking of you? Are they questioning your physical appearance, your wardrobe, your intelligence, your actions or behaviors? Are do you typically concern yourself about how others view your children, your spouse or the cleanliness of your home? Or do you worry about something else?
Most people “go” somewhere mentally unless you have done years and years of meditation.
And even though I have, my mind drifts at times. We typically worry or concern ourselves about the same thing, over and over. And that is usually an imprint we have from childhood. Are you aware of your imprint?
To help you discover your imprint, I’ll tell you about one of mine.
I worry about other people and how they are doing. I know this is an imprint from my childhood and I will say my many years of meditation has helped this tremendously, but it does sneak in, especially if I am stressed or someone I love is in a state of crisis or change. I worry about them and how they are doing. When I say worry, my mind goes to them and I wonder if they are doing ok or feeling ok. I wonder if I could help them. I spend a few minutes on this and usually I will catch myself. I realize what I am doing and I stop. As the GPS says, “RECALCULATING.”
And my intention for January 2018 is to catch myself in this needless worrying more often and sooner.
I want to be kind to myself and others. I am the one suffering when I “worry” or “over-concern” myself about others’ lives. I can’t do much about their choices. I might be able to help, but not unless they ask because I am not a mind reader. It is a way to release some of my stress, my tension, but there are better ways. And I am choosing to now, choose a better way for myself as well as them.
I do not need to concern myself with what they are doing unless they ask me.
For someone who is in a state of crisis or change, I can love them, send them love through the airwaves, ask them to call if I can help, call or text them when I can, but in the end, I want to trust that they can handle their own life and make the right choices for themselves. I’m willing to help if asked. I’m available to them and yet, I am grounded in my own life. This is important for me. I need to be grounded, really grounded, in my own life.
My intention may seem a bit strange to you and that is understandable because we all have different imprints.
That is why our lives are different. And this is a window into my imprint.
You see, when I was a child living with my Granny and Grandpa, I worried about them.
I worried about their health and if they were ok. I didn’t realize as a child that I worried about their health, most likely, because my mother and father had both suddenly died. I wasn’t aware of why. I wasn’t aware of my insecurity. But I felt it.
I felt my insecurity by worrying about them.
The way I felt insecure was witnessing my Grandpa arrive home from the hospital while I was hiding behind a tree. He had suffered a major heart attack when I was four years old. I saw a man open the car door for Grandpa. Grandpa seemed so weak. I loved him so much. I was filled with fear. Would Grandpa be ok?
When in primary school, the fire alarm would go off which would indicate the volunteer fireman in my small town needed to jump into action. But for me, I would look out the window toward the farmhouse we lived in.
Did Granny and Grandpa need me?
Were they ok? Was our house on fire? Did they need me to help them get out of the house that was on fire?
When Granny had a life-threatening illness when I was in fourth grade, would she be ok? As I stood at her bedside, I wondered would she die? And when Grandpa had surgery for a kidney stone when I was in sixth grade, he looked like he was suffering so much. What could I do to help him?
When Grandpa said he needed his medicine, and I though he meant his nitro-glycerin pills and he meant a cigarette, it stressed me out. I worried about him. What about his heart?
When they suffered, I suffered.
I loved them so much and I needed them so much.
My grandparents didn’t want me to suffer in this way and probably didn’t realize I suffered this way, but my experience imprinted it into my system. Your experience imprinted you.
Do you know what your “worry” imprint is?
If you would like to join me in January 2018, select one thing you want to be mindful of so you can intentionally shift your focus. What that looks like for me is when my mind wonders and I find myself worrying if someone else is ok, I bring my attention back to myself this way:
- I send that person love from my heart to theirs.
- I pray that they have the help they need and if they need me, they let me know.
- I pray that I learn to trust that they can handle their own life.
- I put my attention on something I need to do in my life.
- I am grateful for being able to let it go.
My class, “Healing From Childhood Loss,” will be offered later this month.
Stay tuned and please pass this article to others who might need this help.
And, Happy 2018!